Comments on: What is Confidence? http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/ How To Be Confident Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:40:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Screwjob http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-606 Screwjob Sun, 23 Jan 2011 20:13:02 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-606 If you really want to learn something about picking up women, make a poll of various women--those you know, along with strangers--where you ask them to define the difference between "cockiness" and "confidence". Assuming you know what it is yourself (hint, cockiness shows off what it hopes is true, confidence doesn't--any more than confidence needs to show off to people its ability to breathe in and breathe out at a regular rate--its just accepted as already being in existance), you will be surprised to find how many of those hotties you pursue don't know the difference. They confuse one for the other. With them, you will find out why they say they want confident men, but end up with cocky bastids who are all show and no staying power. Or, if you reflect on it, you may realize other things it tells you about the women you want, this inability to know the difference between cocky and confident. <br><br>Unfortunately, these women also may not know the diff between being "complex", and being "complicated"....:( If you really want to learn something about picking up women, make a poll of various women--those you know, along with strangers--where you ask them to define the difference between "cockiness" and "confidence". Assuming you know what it is yourself (hint, cockiness shows off what it hopes is true, confidence doesn't--any more than confidence needs to show off to people its ability to breathe in and breathe out at a regular rate--its just accepted as already being in existance), you will be surprised to find how many of those hotties you pursue don't know the difference. They confuse one for the other. With them, you will find out why they say they want confident men, but end up with cocky bastids who are all show and no staying power. Or, if you reflect on it, you may realize other things it tells you about the women you want, this inability to know the difference between cocky and confident.

Unfortunately, these women also may not know the diff between being "complex", and being "complicated"....:(

]]> By: Screwjob http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-1135 Screwjob Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:13:00 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-1135 If you really want to learn something about picking up women, make a poll of various women--those you know, along with strangers--where you ask them to define the difference between "cockiness" and "confidence". Assuming you know what it is yourself (hint, cockiness shows off what it hopes is true, confidence doesn't--any more than confidence needs to show off to people its ability to breathe in and breathe out at a regular rate--its just accepted as already being in existance), you will be surprised to find how many of those hotties you pursue don't know the difference. They confuse one for the other. With them, you will find out why they say they want confident men, but end up with cocky bastids who are all show and no staying power. Or, if you reflect on it, you may realize other things it tells you about the women you want, this inability to know the difference between cocky and confident. Unfortunately, these women also may not know the diff between being "complex", and being "complicated"....:( If you really want to learn something about picking up women, make a poll of various women--those you know, along with strangers--where you ask them to define the difference between "cockiness" and "confidence". Assuming you know what it is yourself (hint, cockiness shows off what it hopes is true, confidence doesn't--any more than confidence needs to show off to people its ability to breathe in and breathe out at a regular rate--its just accepted as already being in existance), you will be surprised to find how many of those hotties you pursue don't know the difference. They confuse one for the other. With them, you will find out why they say they want confident men, but end up with cocky bastids who are all show and no staying power. Or, if you reflect on it, you may realize other things it tells you about the women you want, this inability to know the difference between cocky and confident.

Unfortunately, these women also may not know the diff between being "complex", and being "complicated"....:(

]]> By: Kyle http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-605 Kyle Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:07:50 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-605 Dude, freaking amazing post, you really broke down the surface of what real confidence is all about. I guess this shows the power of your new program. Dude, freaking amazing post, you really broke down the surface of what real confidence is all about. I guess this shows the power of your new program.

]]> By: gtomustang http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-604 gtomustang Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:41:39 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-604 "Confidence doesn’t actually have to be based on any great soul search – it can merely come from feeling like the world owes you twenty times over, then going out and collecting that debt. Some people are just born and/or raised that way." >>>Actually, confidence IS about knowledge. You learn about yourself, what you have to offer. Then you learn your strengths by being tested in life, and not being able to take the shortcut (ie, spend Daddy's money or let your good looks con someone into bailing you out, etc) but being forced to handle your stuff. When something goes bad, you take your licks, and learn you can survive that--which means you can survive lesser things. You also learn your weaknesses. You don't become afraid of them, because your self knowledge has taught you, you don't need to live near your weakness. You know where your weakness lives, and you know you don't need to go there. Cockiness, is when you DON'T know. You constantly show off to others, because you aren't sure they will see in you anything worth knowing. That's because, you don't know yourself if there's something there to see. Cockiness is basically the act of overcompensating. Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need to show off--you know what you got, and you know if someone's the least bit intelligent, they'll see it. And if they don't? Why should you care? You still have great company--your own. And if you and they stick around long enough, a situation will come up that shows off your strengths--and then the others will know. For example, I do road bicycling, rather than mountain or off-road. I had a new coworker drive in one day with a homemade bike rack in his primered pickup. I asked him in front of others if he biked, and his reply was, "why, did you want to get your ass kicked?" Now, that's cocky. I told him I biked the New York Five Bouroughs tour...and he had no idea of what I spoke. so, did I need to spend any more time on him? Of course not--I'm not cocky. On the flip side, right after starting to work with us, he began dating a female coworker who lives with her mom. Does his cockiness work for him? Sure. Do the rest of us want to date a 20-something still living with her mom? Well.... Cockiness can work, if you are pursuing certain goals. Like a job in sales maybe :) But it isn't confidence. Confidence comes not from birth, but from knowledge that came from experience. Cockiness, is the problem of not knowing--but still thinking the world should owe you something. Confidence is not caring if the world owes you something--you already know your own value, so you don't rely on the world to give it to you. "Confidence doesn’t actually have to be based on any great soul search – it can merely come from feeling like the world owes you twenty times over, then going out and collecting that debt. Some people are just born and/or raised that way."

>>>Actually, confidence IS about knowledge. You learn about yourself, what you have to offer. Then you learn your strengths by being tested in life, and not being able to take the shortcut (ie, spend Daddy's money or let your good looks con someone into bailing you out, etc) but being forced to handle your stuff.

When something goes bad, you take your licks, and learn you can survive that--which means you can survive lesser things. You also learn your weaknesses. You don't become afraid of them, because your self knowledge has taught you, you don't need to live near your weakness. You know where your weakness lives, and you know you don't need to go there.

Cockiness, is when you DON'T know. You constantly show off to others, because you aren't sure they will see in you anything worth knowing. That's because, you don't know yourself if there's something there to see. Cockiness is basically the act of overcompensating. Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need to show off--you know what you got, and you know if someone's the least bit intelligent, they'll see it. And if they don't? Why should you care? You still have great company--your own. And if you and they stick around long enough, a situation will come up that shows off your strengths--and then the others will know.

For example, I do road bicycling, rather than mountain or off-road. I had a new coworker drive in one day with a homemade bike rack in his primered pickup. I asked him in front of others if he biked, and his reply was, "why, did you want to get your ass kicked?"

Now, that's cocky. I told him I biked the New York Five Bouroughs tour...and he had no idea of what I spoke. so, did I need to spend any more time on him? Of course not--I'm not cocky. On the flip side, right after starting to work with us, he began dating a female coworker who lives with her mom. Does his cockiness work for him? Sure. Do the rest of us want to date a 20-something still living with her mom? Well....

Cockiness can work, if you are pursuing certain goals. Like a job in sales maybe :) But it isn't confidence. Confidence comes not from birth, but from knowledge that came from experience. Cockiness, is the problem of not knowing--but still thinking the world should owe you something. Confidence is not caring if the world owes you something--you already know your own value, so you don't rely on the world to give it to you.

]]> By: Adam http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-603 Adam Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:23:17 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-603 Great article. Should point out that Andrew Marvell was gay, however, so wasn't exactly the Casanova of his day! Great article. Should point out that Andrew Marvell was gay, however, so wasn't exactly the Casanova of his day!

]]> By: Richard http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-602 Richard Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:28:24 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-602 "Right on the Nose"! Thanks "Right on the Nose"! Thanks

]]> By: David Evans http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-601 David Evans Mon, 18 Jan 2010 03:13:00 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-601 Thanks for the in depth look at where attitudes and success come from. To change is most difficult if you lack the assurance that you can be successful. Confidence is that assurance that you can create what you want. Once your grounded and confident your world changes because you are creating a new awarness of your place in the scheme of life. Just do it! David Thanks for the in depth look at where attitudes and success come from. To change is most difficult if you lack the assurance that you can be successful. Confidence is that assurance that you can create what you want. Once your grounded and confident your world changes because you are creating a new awarness of your place in the scheme of life. Just do it!
David

]]> By: Albert http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-600 Albert Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:56:26 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-600 such a hard question; but beautifully and eloquently spoken. It's been a long road for me also, but this is too true. roadblocks are opportunities to get better. such a hard question; but beautifully and eloquently spoken. It's been a long road for me also, but this is too true. roadblocks are opportunities to get better.

]]> By: Damien http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-599 Damien Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:33:21 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-599 Nice work Christian ! I think you hit the nail on the head here. The part about elements of your life spilling over and affecting other areas is so true. I stopped producing music about a year and a half ago because of a 'roadblock' like this and it was depressing. Recently though, I realized that women were dating me back then because they saw that I had a passion in my life and this was very attractive to them. So I set up my studio again and started mixing down some new tracks just as a favour for a friend using some new software and the results we got were so much better than I could have expected which has brought back my confidence massively because I am now living my dream and writing music again ! I got past the roadblock, which was really a lack of confidence in myself and what I could achieve. This confidence has now also spilled over into my social life and I am more comfortable and happier talking to women :) Great article mate, thanks for your efforts !!! Nice work Christian ! I think you hit the nail on the head here. The part about elements of your life spilling over and affecting other areas is so true. I stopped producing music about a year and a half ago because of a 'roadblock' like this and it was depressing. Recently though, I realized that women were dating me back then because they saw that I had a passion in my life and this was very attractive to them. So I set up my studio again and started mixing down some new tracks just as a favour for a friend using some new software and the results we got were so much better than I could have expected which has brought back my confidence massively because I am now living my dream and writing music again ! I got past the roadblock, which was really a lack of confidence in myself and what I could achieve. This confidence has now also spilled over into my social life and I am more comfortable and happier talking to women :) Great article mate, thanks for your efforts !!!

]]> By: Seckin http://www.thesocialman.com/what-is-confidence/#comment-598 Seckin Sun, 17 Jan 2010 23:45:16 +0000 http://www.thesocialman.com/?p=1563#comment-598 well overall great explenation of confidance articlethat Im sure I learned someting from that it just keeps you going where ever you need to go and it's obviuse it's gives you also value of life too ..................... well overall great explenation of confidance articlethat Im sure I learned someting from that it just keeps you going where ever you need to go and it's obviuse it's gives you also value of life too .....................

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