Spark of Attraction is a pickup bootcamp, plain and simple. You will be taught exactly how to walk into bars and clubs, approach and attract women, and have tremendous fun in the process.
“Much more personalized attention than I expected”
“Got right inside my head and clearly articulated how I was sabotaging myself.”
“Major breakthroughs every night we were out”
“Scalpel-like precision in figuring out what I was doing wrong.”
“Felt like I was out with friends who truly cared for me… and then realized that was exactly the case!”
If you’re not content with your social life and the women in it, then its time to take it to the next level. There’s no faster path to change than a Sparks of Attraction bootcamp.
Our weekend training program has been redesigned for the Fall of 2008. We’re now taking advantage of new exercises and training tools that will give you unprecedented insight into what you’re doing right and wrong. You will be told exactly how to improve your interactions with women, have it demonstrated to you, then taken through it again and again until you have it fixed.
Let’s face it – you can learn techniques from any number of books. You’re not coming to us to listen to a lecture. You’re here to focus on you – your mannerisms, your words, your skills.
And we’re not about dogma: we’ll teach you whatever it is that you need to make the most of your personality. If you’re totally new and need some lines and routines to get you going, you’ll get them. If your nonverbal communication is sabotaging you, we’ll focus on that. And if you’re just, well, inconsistent when talking to girls, we’ll show you why and how that happens, and work on your consistency.
CASE STUDIES
To get a sense for exactly how personalized our instruction is, let’s consider a few recent client scenarios.
Client 1 – “Brady”
Brady is tall and stylish, in his late thirties, and divorced as of a year ago. After his divorce, he joined the Stylelife Academy, where he met his “wingman,” George. They had been going out together for about three months before jointly deciding to take a bootcamp with The Social Man.
Brady was a tough client, because on the surface, everything seemed fine. He was articulate, and did just about everything right nonverbally. He consistently opened and attracted good-looking girls. But after putting a hidden mic on Brady and reviewing it with him later, we realized that he wasn’t building a good connection with women; his conversations became flat after about ten minutes, and even though he could get numbers, they weren’t “solid”.
We taught Brady a few basic conversation “temperature checks.” These are questions that help you evolve a conversation from fun to flirty to intimate, making sure that the girl you’re talking to is feeling the same “vibe” of the interaction that you are. Armed with some fascinating temperature checking questions that women would enjoy discussing, Brady was able to let his personality do the rest, and spent the weekend collecting solid number after solid number.
Client 2 – “Michael”
Michael is an attractive entrepreneur, in his mid twenties. He has a good vibe, and women unquestionably like to be around him. But he had a remarkably hard time escalating his interactions to any level of intimacy. It didn’t take long to see that this was because he had a tremendous aversion to touching women playfully. Michael is Asian and comes from a home where growing up, physical contact was limited – no hugs, no hand holding, and little intimacy. This left him afraid to breach the “touch barrier.”
We created a “kino bombing” exercise, where Michael was to initiate new interactions by going over the top on physical contact, with the intention of getting rejected. He had to start his conversations without words, and rather, by sitting in girls’ laps, giving them hugs, and even going straight for a kiss. A few of the interactions did indeed bomb, but Michael realized that he was no worse off for it, and had quite a bit of fun in the process. And more of the interactions actually opened up, showing Michael that he could not only feel comfortable touching women flirtatiously, but that they actually enjoyed it. In the end, by simply adding more physical touch to his interactions, Michael was able to create much more intimacy and excitement, transforming from the “really nice guy” to the guy who set womens’ pulses racing.
Client 3 – “Thomas”
Thomas is a very successful, well-to-do attorney in his mid-thirties. He came to The Social Man after having taken four other bootcamps, so he knew just about everything there was to know about pickup. But Thomas faced two major handicaps – at 5”4’, he’s not exactly towering over anyone, and he’s just too nice.
Thomas isn’t the first short man with whom we worked, and it took us watching only one or two conversations to realize that his nonverbal communication was destroying him – he was broadcasting a lack of confidence. Our first exercise for Thomas was to approach groups of three to four girls and deliver his opener, making eye contact with every girl in the group as he did. He was not allowed lean in to them, and if any one of them needed to lean towards him to hear him, he “lost”.
The result? It took three tries for Thomas to fully adopt these new, confident nonverbal behaviors, but once he did, he achieved consistency in successfully starting conversations with women. Now with that handled, it was time to make him a little bit more mysterious. On the last night of the bootcamp, Thomas kissed and exchanged numbers with a very attractive woman who was about 6 inches taller than him. In the words of Thomas’s text to us on that night “You guys are really, really good instructors!”
Client 4 – “Sunil”
Sunil is a 22 year-old student, and is one of the more challenging clients with whom we’ve worked. Raised by an abusive mother and recently having overcome a drug addiction, Sunil had a pessimistic and frightfully sad worldview. The mere act of smiling was difficult for him, and it was immediately apparent that, although there was a lot going on in his head, there was a “firewall” of sorts between his thoughts and his words. He was terrified of being rejected for saying anything, and would break out into a sweat when having to approach a new woman at the bar.
Our primary objective was to show Sunil that he could start a conversation and make women smile at him. We knew that once he started getting good feedback, he’d start to open up. But it wasn’t going to happen with his current attitude or vibe.
We created a new “identity” for Sunil to step into. We gave him lines to say, practiced the volume and pacing of his delivery, and drilled his body language. We videotaped the whole process so he could see what we saw. And when we went out at night, he consistently opened conversations, delighted women with his approach, and then exited after 30 seconds. It was now time to work on the next stage of the interaction – how to “hook” the conversation.
What Makes Our Bootcamp Different?
A Client Focus: We are professionals, not hobbyists. You’ll see from reading the case studies that we take a focused and thoughtful approach to working with clients. We consider everything – their social skills, their looks and height, their style, their background, and their current sticking points – and we come up with the right solution for them. This isn’t a revolving door operation; every client is treated as the unique individual that he is.
Our Teaching Tools: We make use of everything we can think of to help you get better. We’ll use hidden mics to hear exactly what you’re saying and where your conversations are falling flat. We’ll use video cameras to capture our exercises with you, then give you a DVD that you can always come back to review. And we have a vast array of exercises and drills to help you break through. Developed after spending over one hundred weekends working with clients, our exercises are a hallmark tool for helping our clients develop a “natural” set of skills.
Our Team: We’re a very small group of equals who have devoted this time in our lives to improving the lives of other men. You won’t be working with any newly-minted “junior” instructors. We live the life we preach – all of us have expansive social circles, hang out at the best venues, and date awesome women. Clients enjoy the different personalities and teaching skills that our instructors bring to the table.
Demonstrating: Some bootcamps feature no demonstrations. We’re quite the opposite – you will watch us walk up to women, attract them, and more. But we’ll never stay in a conversation longer than fifteen minutes, and when its over, we’ll tell you what we did and why it worked.
Instructing: When it comes time for you to approach, we’ll be close enough to watch, and if possible, listen to what you’re saying. We’ll give you opening lines if you need them, and we’ll break down your interactions when they’re over. Long story short: You’ll get to see us in action to understand what “good” looks like, but you won’t ever feel like we’re absent babysitters or out for ourselves.
Our Venues: We won’t be taking you to bars where you’ll be competing with clients from 3 other bootcamps. Our venues are full of a wide variety of women, from hipster models to beautiful professionals. They’re low-key spots where no one is overdressed or trying to “impress the environment,” and where you’ll see more sneakers and sandals than loafers and wingtips. And the volume level is perfect – loud enough to make you speak up when you’re starting a conversation, but not so loud that you have to yell when you’re sitting next to a girl.
Our Vibe: You’re here to learn – and have fun. You’ll join us at our spacious NYC loft for classroom sessions and pre-gaming. Play some songs on the guitar, check your email, or throw one of our many beach balls around. We’ll often bring our female friends in for demonstration, and a few of our guy friends who are particularly good with women may join us in the field for a quick demo. We’ve had clients bring girls back to our place for after-parties, and join us for occasional dinner get-togethers. You won’t feel like you’re on a weird pickup bootcamp. As one client said, “it was like I was hanging out with some cool friends from college who decided to spend our weekend working out the kinks in my game.”
New York City: We currently ONLY run our bootcamps in New York City. We know it inside out, and we can deliver the best experience possible here. It is arguably America’s most international city, it is full of beautiful women, and it is FUN. If you want to make the most of your time here, we can point you to incredible boutiques, museums, and restaurants that you won’t find anywhere else in the world.
What You’ll Learn
You may be wondering – ok, but what, specifically, will I learn? Perhaps you already know all of the “methods” and can’t stand the idea of another three-day lecture, or perhaps you know none of them and are looking for some sort of conversational framework.
At The Social Man, our approach towards meeting women leans towards “direct” game. We like to open conversations using direct and situational openers, then we have a variety of techniques for creating the dynamic where she is “chasing” you. We’ll teach you some very easy techniques for getting to know her, and also how to escalate the interaction into intimate talk.
With that said, we’re versatile instructors who are familiar with all forms of “game,” and your curriculum will be developed with you over the weekend based on a combination of factors. If you’re not supermodel-good-looking, we might find an indirect opener to be more effective for getting conversations started. And it doesn’t matter what you say if your nonverbals are off, so we’ll spend time making sure that you’re broadcasting confidence and charisma.
Specifically, some of the things that we’ll be drilling you on include:
- Non-verbals – confident vs. unconfident
- Creating a “chase” frame with misinterpretations and false assumptions
- How to use hoops to escalate conversations
- Rapid Escalation, and how to put yourself into a position to kiss a woman within 30 seconds of meeting her
We’ll also be working with you and your own stories – your job, your travel, your life – to show you how to use them in interactions with women. One client, for example, was taught to bait women into chasing him by dropping breadcrumbs about his worldwide travels. Another client on the same weekend achieved the same chase dynamic through the use of a non-verbal trick and two specific questions. In both cases, we considered the clients’ looks, life, and general presence, and came up with a solution that was unique to each of them.
Schedule
Our bootcamps are now focused on night game only. Night game and day game are entirely different styles of interaction, and we find that we can deliver the absolute best experience if we work on one or the other. Our current bootcamp features proprietary exercises during the day, and lots of field work at night.
We start on Friday at 2:00 PM at our loft in the Grammercy Park area. This first afternoon starts with nonverbal exercises and tricks, where we’ll be making sure that you’re radiating confidence throughout the entire conversations. We’ll then drill specific situations in conversations – how to open them and how to create the chase dynamic. We’ll be working with the material you’ve provided for us to make a custom, first 3-5 minute gameplan for you. The whole thing will be videotaped for you (and you alone) so you can review it in the future. We’ll part ways at 6:00 PM for a brief break.
Friday night, you’ll rejoin us at 9:30 for a brief discussion of what to expect and a little speech that will get you in the mood to rock. We’ll start the evening with a little exercise that we call “giving love” before we even hit the bars, then we’ll jump into venues using our infamous bombing openers to get you warmed up. When its time to transition to specific feedback and instruction for you, we’ll be working from our extensive list of exercises, or come up with new exercises on the fly, to make sure that you’re making the right progress in the right direction. Our night ends around 1:30, but its not infrequent that we stay out until 2:30 or later.
Saturday once again starts at 2:00, where we’ll be reviewing the experiences from the night before, then jumping into further exercises. Most of Saturday afternoon’s training will be focused on verbal game, and once again, we’ll be filming the work so you can review it if you ever need a refresher in the future. As on Friday, our Saturday afternoon session ends around 6:00 PM.
Saturday night, you’ll rejoin us again at 9:30 for a demonstration of Rapid Escalation. We’ll be hitting the bars shortly thereafter, for more specific work on you, and exercises that will push you far beyond your abilities and comfort zone. On our most recent bootcamp at the time of this writing, all three clients exchanged numbers with multiple women on Saturday evening, all three clients kissed at least one woman in the venue, and two of the three clients were invited to continue the evening with a woman elsewhere.
Sunday, we’ll be starting at noon, and meeting over food to discuss the weekend, your life, inner game, and your plan going forward. Our clients often join us in ordering the bottomless glass mimosa brunch, as a way to celebrate the weekend’s successes and kick off a new phase of their own lives. You’ll be given a DVD of all of your videotaped exercises over the weekend, as well.
Going forward, we do what we can to hook up our clients with new information, parties and connections, and ongoing support. You’ll be granted access to our alumni forum, and you’ll get free access to any future products we put out. And if you’re in New York, you can expect invitations to the occasional social functions we put together.
The Thursday Night Option
Ready for something really cool? We decided to ask a few clients to join us one night early, and we mic’d them up with the same hidden mics we use to record our own conversations. The experience was staggering. We reviewed the conversations the next day and were able to get unprecedented insight into their game – and their heads. By pinpointing the exact moments when the clients did something right, or gave up the frame, we could show the client how they thought when they were in the field, and how to fix what wasn’t working and do more of what was working.
Perhaps equally important, starting one day early in the field proved to be a great bonding experience, and by Saturday evening, our crew dominated every bar we entered.
If you’d like to make the most of your experience with us, then please consider joining us one night early. We meet our Thursday evening clients for dinner at 8:00, get to know each other for a few hours and build a basic game plan for the evening, then hit the bars at 10. We’ll take you to the hole-in-the-wall spots where models and actresses go when they don’t want to get glammed up for a club, and where the guys are about as cool as anyone you’ll ever meet.
By Friday afternoon, we’ll have reviewed your audio, extracting the relevant portions to share with you, and we’ll have a strategy and set of exercises based on what we’ve learned. You’ll receive all of your audio on the same DVD that includes your videotaped exercises.
Next Steps
There’s a reason why over 55% of our clients come from referrals: we put on an excellent bootcamp. Our clients go forth boldly, give love to the world, and get it back in spades.
You might have taken a bootcamp or two before; that’s fine – we’ll work with what works for you, scrap what doesn’t, and add to it as necessary. At least 40% of our clients have taken bootcamps from other companies, and not only do we receive accolades about ours being better (more focused attention, more personalized advice, less dogmatic), but we give these clients tools for long-term success.
And if you’ve never taken a bootcamp either, that’s fine too. We’ll treat you with kid gloves and show you a thing or five that you never thought you’d be able to do.
Our Winter 2008-2009 bootcamps are now $900 until Jan 25 – what we’ve been told is a steal compared to industry standards. You can make a $100 deposit now, and pay the balance at the time of the event using cash or credit card. Alternately, you can pay $800 right now and cut out the price of the deposit. Payment plans are available, as well.
The Thursday Night Option is an additional $399; please email us once you’re registered for an event and let us know that you’d like to take us up on it.
If you’d like to schedule a free half hour phone consultation to determine whether or not a bootcamp is right for you, please email us at mail@thesocialman.com, with your phone number, a few good times to reach you, and no more than a paragraph or two regarding your background.
Otherwise, go ahead and register, and we’ll be in touch shortly thereafter with a call and some prep work to get you rocking and rolling.
Special Notice: Our rates will be returning to our normal $1600 prices in February, 2009, but you can secure a spot for the $900 rate, for any bootcamp you decide to take up until the end of April, 2009. To lock in your rate with a $100 deposit, please click here.