I was wondering if you, or anyone else, had any tips or advice for a current predicament I'm in. If you have anything i'll be truly grateful - and in a way it relates to this post.

Basically, at the start of last semester, a new girl came into our year. We got on immediately and I liked her, but was soon to find out that she had a boyfriend of two years.

Gutted, but fair enough.

But since we're in a small class together every week, we still see plenty of each other and we stayed friends. Unfortunately, there're a couple of problems. One is that she still really is my kind of girl, and since I've not come straight out to her that I like her I guess this is where I feel this unsatisfied attraction to her. The other problem is that she keeps giving me, what seem to be, hints that she too has a soft-spot for me. She will make eye-contact with me and keep staring. She will even break into a smile, which I can't interpret. But basically, I don't know where to stand. It can be hard to see her as a friend sometimes.

So I've made up my mind, recently - (half a year later), to come out to her at the right point that to come out, lightly, that i like her. At least that way, even if i've been misinterpreting it, i'll be over that 'maybe or maybe not' ache. 

But there's something a lot worse which I need the advice on. She used to come up and talk with me. This semester she is in the group for an activity with another boy in the class. Her not being attracted to me is not so big a problem - I can face that reality like a man. The guy coming up and talking to her isn't even a problem. But what really bugs me - what I really can't shake and really is difficult to get out of my head - is the fact that she is going up and talking to him. Enjoying his company. Sitting next to him in lectures. I really don't know what to do. The thought of them getting any closer together makes me green with jealousy. It's at this where not even Self Awareness, from the Fearless program, seems to help - because it just makes me aware of this horrible thought that looks more like a reality every day. How should I deal with this? What should I do?

If anyone has anything to help me with this, I'd seriously appreciate it.

Cheers,

Axel.

I honestly think this needs to be addressed further, though. It's the root of so so many problems with getting and maintaining relationships with girls.

The second part of article is totally right. But way harder to actually achieve the solution. It's downfall of almost every relationship and what cripples me when a breakup happens.

Some guys are naturally self-reliant / independent. While I can lead and be by myself, in the end, I NEED a small based of good friends and will not feel complete without security of a really good girl. And I shouldn't NEED that security.

I don't know what the different categories of guys who have problems with girls are...but I feel this might be a big one.

Cheers!