------------
Hey guys... so three times this week, this has come up so I thought I'd just share it with a few of you on a bcc. I'll leave it up to your own ingenuity to figure out how to integrate it into your own conversations, but it is a very effective "loop" of sorts. It's something I discovered one night when I was out with ***, and the second half is based off a lot of stuff I think I internalized from watching Nick. Here comes the geekiness.
1.) Situational Observation/Opinion
2.) High Value Hook
3.) Brief Story
4.) Screen on Personality Trait
5.) Future Project
6.) Sexual Barrier
Ok, let's translate that.
Situational Observation/Opinion:
You make a comment / statement / thought about something situational. It could be the weather, the bar you're at, the people you're with, the drink in her hand, whatever. This is the "anchor" of the loop and lets you logically jump into the next topic, which is going to be a high value story about yourself (which would be weird to launch into without an anchor)
High Value Hook
You introduce something about your life here with a "that reminds me of" or "wish I was currently" or "the last time we were together" or some other such transition. This is "bait" - you don't want to give away too much here, but rather, let her ask about it to get some investment.
Brief Story w/ High Value Personality Traits
Once she's asked about it, you tell a very brief story about it - again, leaving out lots of details so that she can ask if she wants. But the key here is to introduce something about your personality and call it out. "It was the most spontaneous/adventurous thing I've ever done." "It was the most trouble I've gotten in without getting thrown in jail." "It was one of the wildest nights of the last year." Notice that these aren't virtuous traits - they are things that set a tone for where you're going next. There can also be a lot of little loops within the story, based on how receptive she is to it. Again though, you must -conclude- this part of the conversation with your little personality trait assessment. And one other point - the shorter your story, the better. You can always come back to dive into details later, but at this point in the convo, the story is merely the vehicle for you to find similarities with her about personality traits.
Screen on Personality Trait
Now you screen her on something she's done that follows that same trait. "So what's the most spontaneous/adventurous/troublesome thing you've ever
done?" You have to calibrate this depending on how receptive she was to your story. If you just shared something unbelievable and she's got a boring life, she might not want to share. This can take some finessing but once you get her qualifying herself, you're golden.
She Tells Her Story
Try not to let it go on too long - just long enough to get a detail or two. At this point, you can qualify her in any number of ways - a basic compliment, isolation, etc. But if you want to take things flirty, well...
Future Project
As far as I can tell, THIS is the biggest girl game trick in the book. They always get us with future projections. So you have to do it first... so you are going to put the two of you together somewhere in the future. "Ok, we clearly have to do/go to/experience X together," where X is whatever you've been discussing. Maybe you combine stories, so if it is about a drink, for example, you'd say "ok, we are going to go to Pegu club, and I'm going to try whatever drink you just told me about, and we're going to sneak in some Newcastles for you." You can also get really absurd and just make something up - the more conspiratorial and outrageous the future projection, the better: travel to bali, touring with Phish, breaking into the CIA, etc. - things that you clearly are not going to do. You can use more realistic future projections at other points, of course, but for this "taking things flirty" loop, its good to make them outrageous, because the next thing you do will be greatly aided by that.
Sexual Barrier
Finally, you introduce a sexual frame and put up a barrier. Anything that assumes that she wants you, but that it couldn't happen. Learning to do these tactfully is a learned skill (and one that Nick is really, really good at) but some basic examples would be "but no funny business when we get drunk, I'm very easily taken advantage of and you look like the sort who would" or "but when we camp out, we're getting separate tents so that we can focus on the music - I don't want to have to worry about you crawling into my bed" or "but when we pick our outfits, I don't want you wearing any sexy latex bodysuits or anything, I don't need any distractions while I'm picking a lock".
Depending on how tactfully you introduce the barrier, she may fall into the frame without a fight (i.e. just laugh, touch you, etc.), get sassy (put up a bit of a fight i.e. "oh really, well who said I...?"), or just shut it down and get dismissive. First case, you can go for a kiss pretty soon thereafter, isolate, whatever the situation calls for. Second case, that's for another email but in general its a good thing because now you're flirting. Third case, you didn't have her to begin with.
Here's a final example - this is GREATLY abbreviated but basically the loop in action from about a month ago:
Me: "This weather sucks, etc.."
Her: "I know..."
Me: "I was just in Mexico, so much nicer there."
Her: "Why were you there?"
Me: "Got drunk w friends and went there, it was way
spontaneous"
Her: Awesome
Me: "What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?"
Her: (I honestly don't remember what she said)
Me: That's so cool, so let's go to Mexico together and
we'll also (whatever she said)
Her: hahaha sounds amazing
Me: But we definitely have to get two full beds, not one
king - I don't know if I can trust someone so spontaneous
Her: Haha what...? You are the one who...!
Me: Wait a sec young lady....
And so on. ***, this was with that girl at Verlaine - I'm sure you remember how she was ready to make out with me in like 5 mins. I've since found myself using this many more times - most recently at Greenhouse, and sort of the other night at our place.
Technique-wise, there's a lot in here that you can flip up - rather than a future projection, you could screen further, for example. Whatever the mood calls for.
-----------------
You might have to practice this to make it second nature. It's not "advanced," but rather, something that has to become instinct. I'd suggest actually writing it out in a Word doc or something, and use a story from you own life. Spend ten minutes doing that a few times, and it'll be locked in for you to use.
I've got to imagine that's more fun than whatever work or studying or lounging you're doing right now, anway ;)
