What to do when she says 'find me on Facebook'

shawn · #1 02-01-2010, 08:46 AM

Hey guys,

In the last week I've had two women tell me, after I said I'd like to see them again, to look them up on Facebook. The first girl said she never answered her phone, and that I should message her on FB; the most recent time, I mentioned I wanted to get together to chat more about an author we'd been discussing, and she said to look her up on Facebook - she's 'getting a book club together.'

Now, I know this is hardly a ringing invitation, but what is the best way to follow up? Might this just be a way for her to find out more about me, i.e., to see what kind of social value I have (there is an age difference - I'm probably about 20 years older!)? Is it better to drop it, add her and not send her a message, or add her and send a message? What is the best frame for this situation?

Also wanted to say I'm really enjoying Unbreakable.

thepromoter · #2 02-01-2010, 04:58 PM

did they give you a facebook name to find them? if not, move on, go out and meet other chicks. if they're not willing to give you a phone number, or take yours then I wouldn't bother with them. it's too much work imo. just my 2 cents.

aleams · #3 02-01-2010, 06:58 PM

While she should be able to give you her phone number, most girls these days are just as active on their facebooks as their phones.

I usually use Facebook to get a quick # close.

I will get on FB chat or inbox messages with her, definitely flirt with her now if you didn't before, make sure to use winks and laugh. Then either that night or the second time you talk with her online use the line (or variation), "Hey, I have to get going. Give me your number so I can call you up when I am looking for someone to burn the city down with me." (Most girls hate FB chat)

3/4 times she will be comfortable enough to give you her number.

Good luck!

Driven · #4 02-04-2010, 09:28 AM

aleams advice sounds good.

In first situation - you ask a number and the girl tells you she never answers her phone. I would bust her on it, or move on. Its a pretty strong IOD.

In second situation - I would get her FB details and (if it was going well) ask her number as well. Its one thing I learnt from DYD - ask a girl her email, then get her number as well. Works quite a lot (usually I go directly for the phone number, but here it seems that FB followed naturally and smoothly from your conversation so follow the path of least resistance).

One time I had been talking a girl for quite a while and we were getting on well. I asked her number and she told me look her up on FB through mutual friends. I just said "nah...I would never get round to doing that its too much hassle [dismissive]....just give me your number". She gave me her number.

Zanther · #5 02-09-2010, 09:59 PM

I know this doesn't really help you now, but always go for the number if they tell you to find them on FB. I had a coworker I had just started to get to know tell me that the last day at a job and it didn't realize there were so many people with the same name (and not all people have a geographical "Network").

Do as Driven said and just say something like, "Naw, it's so hard to actually find people on FB sometimes. Here give me your number. I'll hit you up." Keeps it casual still.

On a second note, FB can be the devil. Have been staying off that until I recover from a now-Ex who I don't want to see what(who) she's doing right now...

Apex · #6 02-11-2010, 04:40 AM

Honestly...how many women do ANY of us know who never answer their phone? Only if they don't want to talk to the caller. FB might be something they want to use but usually moving from face to face to a social network is a way of "losing you in the crowd". I have had great success moving online meets to real time monkey sex but I see FB instead of a number as a blow off. In some cases it may not be but the odds are stacked against it.