How to deal w/ clingy girls

ablosser · #1 03-07-2010, 07:45 PM

So i'm going to make a long story short; I hooked up w/ this girl and now she won't stop txting me... she at first was just asking me a bunch of stupid questions, then I started ignoring her txts, so then she started sending me random facts txts! One went as follows: "70 million burgers a day are sold".

I've known her for a little while before we hooked up and I always thought she was pretty cool, but after that night we hooked up she's just been really annoying and shit.

How would u guys deal w/ this. I don't want a relationship or anything, but I think she does. Ya, i know, be straightforward w/ her, but how do I do it w/out looking like I used her.

-Drew

ahmedgottliebchan · #2 03-07-2010, 08:21 PM

You didn't lead her on, did you?

ablosser · #3 03-07-2010, 08:28 PM

ya, i probably did... i guess i'll just have to be an asshole this time. eh.

ahmedgottliebchan · #4 03-07-2010, 08:37 PM

You don't have to be. It depends on what you actually said. Do you mind repeating it here?

wizz · #5 03-07-2010, 08:53 PM

If you lead her on, depending on the level, it's going to be pretty hard to not end up looking like a dick. You could just tell her you like/liked her but when someone is around/contacting you all the time it pushes you away and now you're starting to feel weird. You're passing off the blame but atleast you look like less of a player.

KennyG · #6 03-08-2010, 12:47 AM

It'd be cool if you could leave for a three week vacation, or just concentrate on a project at work or school. Tell her you like her, but have an excuse for backing down to once a week for a few weeks. That might reboot the relationship in a more casual way. As long as you are pretty honest about not being exclusive or not wanting to get too serious right now...She needs to change her expectations, and hopefully you can do it without hurting her. It'll confuse her, and she'll be disappointed, but maybe not hurt.

Brendan · #7 03-08-2010, 06:38 AM

It depends on what you said. However, one thing you can do is just sit her down and tell her what's up. Wizz had a good answer: just explain that you still think she's cool, but you're getting a little bit weirded out that she's contacting you all the time and it pushed you away. It's a pain in the ass to be straightforward, but you gotta do what you gotta do- I'd recommend saying that you're not really looking for a relationship right now and that you're sorry if you led her on.

wizz · #8 03-08-2010, 02:31 PM

Plus when you put it that way you're saying "look I wasn't lying, I really did like you when I said I did."

ablosser · #9 03-08-2010, 06:43 PM

well, i never said "i like you" to her before, but i guess i must've been giving some kind of vibe that made her think i wanted a relationship. idk. Anyways, i'll tell her i don't want an exclusive relationship at the moment and that i'd still like to chill w/ her.
thanks guys

Zanther · #10 03-10-2010, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brendan

It depends on what you said. However, one thing you can do is just sit her down and tell her what's up. Wizz had a good answer: just explain that you still think she's cool, but you're getting a little bit weirded out that she's contacting you all the time and it pushed you away. It's a pain in the ass to be straightforward, but you gotta do what you gotta do- I'd recommend saying that you're not really looking for a relationship right now and that you're sorry if you led her on.

I second this. Sometimes you gotta be straight forward that it's getting weird, because it might only get worse.

Just so you know, you being more distant might only make her try harder (push / pull effect), but in the end it'll stop the attachment early on...