An introduction and my top 3 tips of the week…

December 8, 2009

I just wanted to introduce myself. I am the new female coach for The Social Man. I am very excited to be a part of TSM. Feel free to email me at jody@thesocialman.com or find me on Facebook as Jody Ann.

Now, on to bigger and better things…

As my first blog on here, I wanted to give my favorite tips I give to my friends to let you know the way that I think and my theories on this whole shebang.

In my opinion, there are 3 main things that attract a woman, and keep her interested:

1) Confidence

2) The ability to REALLY listen

3) Follow-through

First, as the old saying goes: confidence is key. Women like a man who is secure and knows what he wants, and how to get it. Nothing screams low self esteem more than a guy who hesitates to approach a woman, or, when he does go up to her, who looks terrified to speak to her.

Just for a moment, think about what a woman is thinking when a guy stares her down. After about 5 seconds of eye contact and a smile from both her end and theirs, if the guy doesn’t make a move, she thinks 1 of 2 things:

1.) He saw her smile, and he isn’t interested (has a gf, etc.)

2) He is too scared and not confident in himself to make the approach.

Remember: a girl wants a man who knows what he wants and how to get, so go and get it. Stand up straight, shoulders back, chest high, and go win the prize.

I always love to see the changes in clients when they experience this revelation. The confident but casual approach is so powerful, and speaks volumes more in those first few seconds than clever words ever could. Just remain positive, calm, and cool and give off the vibe that she should want to talk to you, and you actually want to hear what she is saying.

This leads me to my next point: REALLY LISTEN when she speaks.

Seriously, it’s not that hard. Once a guy makes that initial approach (which in my opinion is one of the most difficult parts) now it’s easy. Open-ended questions are a GREAT starting point, and 90% of the time, will get you a lot further than cleverness. After all, what is everyone’s favorite subject to talk about…themselves. You can start with open-ended questions, but how do you avoid getting on a “question train” where you’re asking one surface-level question after another?

I also work with a social networking company for successful New Yorkers, and it might not surprise you to know that successful men like to talk about themselves. So besides encouraging them to ask lots of open-ended questions, I give them one simple additional piece of advice: paint a picture of what she is saying.

For example, if she says she is a teacher, really picture her standing in front of a classroom with her students in front of a chalkboard, maybe with an eraser in her hand? When you picture this image, this will help you find the topics to talk about with her, and she will actually be impressed that you are listening.

The guys at our events always have far better success with women than they have in the past when they employ this. I have also heard Nick elaborate on this subject at our meet ups and coaching programs, and everyone seems to get this as soon as they practice in everyday conversation.

A trap that a lot a guys fall into is that they over think the conversation. While she is speaking, all they are thinking is, “wow, she is so hot, what can I say next to impress her.” Instead, really live in the moment and have a pleasant (and hopefully flirty) conversation that she will remember as the best approach and exchange she had all night.

Which brings me to my last tip of the day… the follow through.

I could write 50 different blogs on the art of the follow through, but there is one main point I want to share today. If a guy says he is going to do something, then he should do it. If he says he is going to call, call, if he says he is going to email, email, text, send a letter, telegram… you get the point.

Seriously, nothing surprises and impresses a girl more than if you say, hey, I’ll call you, and you do! Granted, we don’t expect you to call the next day, and secretly, we might enjoy that nerve racking period where every time the phone rings or we get a text, we hope it’s you…but don’t make us wait too long. After a lengthy no contact period, we give up hope; we lose your image in our mind, and move on. So, don’t allow us to forget about you!

So to recap; be confident, listen to us, and be real with your follow through. If you do these things, you are far ahead of the game then most of the guys out there.

Till next time,

Jody Ann

Posted by jody | Filed Under Pickup Your Game