Why am I writing this bio right now? Well, there’s the obvious answer (I needed a bio for this website). But to answer the more rhetorical version of the question, let’s look back some years to examine the path my life has taken that has brought me to this point.
It’s no big secret out there that I’m probably the most social person that most people have ever met in their life. I get my gift for conversation from my Grandmother, who is famously known in my small hometown as a woman who can talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere. She helped to raise me and as a result, I inherited her gifts somewhere along the line.
But social as I may have learned to be amongst family members, middle school and most of high school were fairly rough times for me. Between the glasses, pre-braces-teeth, acne, and 120 lb frame, I faced a good share of those horror stories that drive teenage boys to write somber poems and listen to emo music. I subconsciously began to worry about what others thought about me, and to constantly try to please everyone and make them happy.
When college started, my physical appearance broke past its awkward stage, but mentally, I was still that maligned adolescent; desperately seeking everyone’s approval. I made friends with everyone I could and hooked-up with as many girls as possible in order to prove my self worth to both friends and myself.
In honesty, I did find myself in the company of a fair number of women, although it standard protocol… her: drunk. Me: drunk. Her rarely being the highest value of woman which of course I didn’t feel like I deserved, and the relationship hardly ever lasting more than one or two nights.
Around my 3rd year of college I began my first real, mature relationship. To be honest with you, ah…. she probably could have done better. In retrospect, I was a great guy, but she still had to deal with my feelings of inadequacy that had plagued me since middle school. She was an amazing person, and considering where I was in my life, I still consider myself lucky that things happened the way they did between us.
Between her and some awesome friends (one of whom actually introduced me to Christian Hudson about two years later), I was finally able to see the worth in myself that others saw. For better or for worse, the outgoing social behavior I’d developed was still with me; so many fun stories to think back on around this period. One time, I arrived a few minutes late to a date auction being held by my former co-ed, pre-law fraternity and, upon the host announcing my arrival, the crowd broke into a standing ovation.
After 2 great years of ups and downs in my relationship, life happens the way it tends to happen and we broke up. My confidence was lagging and I had lost any semblance of skill with women that I had once previously possessed. Around this time I had also graduated from college and decided to throw myself headfirst into my new career; seeking validation and confidence in my new profession, selling loans and mortgages in the housing boom.
After being a workaholic for a while I was introduced me to “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I was hooked immediately and couldn’t read enough on pickup, social, evolutionary, and female psychology. At the same time I also got close with another amazing group of guys, one of who was actually was present in the crowd at my pre-law fraternity’s date auction.
Through my newfound passion and friends, I was able to rediscover that confidence in myself that I had looked to find in my work. Also, as the country watched the crash of the mortgage industry, I see it as a blessing for myself as it gave me the opportunity to step away from a career path that my heart wasn’t truly in.
In fact, my unemployment afforded me the opportunity to step back from my life and think about what I truly wanted to do. I had always thought it’d be fun to bartend and, and had also been interested in standup comedy. So I started bartending, and taking standup classes.
Around this time I also watched my skill with women increase exponentially. Since discovering The Game, these friends, and former confidence in myself I had been on an upswing, however it was at this moment that things just started to click. Friends started asking for advice and would in turn tell their friends about me who would ask for advice as well. My first “bootcamp” was a bunch of my friends gathering in my living room to hear me talk about this stuff before heading out for the night to try it out.
At right about this point I was reminded that my old friend Christian was involved in this pickup thing in some way shape or form. I spoke to him about it and got the advice to start my own blog. The blog was almost an immediate success, in part because I feel that my lack of involvement in “the community” gave me a fresh perspective on everything to write on.
With the success of the blog came offers for bootcamps. The amount of positive-ness in the reviews was as much as a surprise to myself as anyone. After this, Christian asked me to hop a plane out to NYC and the rest is history.
After seven years in Ann Arbor people have said that I achieved almost a legendary status there and one of the most common questions I get is how I was able to accomplish that. My response is always that I don’t have any secret. If you have faith in the person you are, live every day looking for as much excitement as possible, and do whatever you can to bring as much happiness to every single person you encounter then the world will belong to you.
Cheers,
Nick