How did I end up managing The Social Man? Hmmm, where to start…?

When I was about twenty years old, I dropped out of University of Michigan to start a software company. Entrepreneurial from the days of my youth when I ran a baseball card racket from my parents’ basement, it wasn’t until I started this business that I would achieve any degree of success. We were eventually sold to EMC Corporation (NYSE: EMC), and while I never made megabucks from the business, it nevertheless afforded me a pretty good lifestyle.

But right around the time we launched it, another major event happened in my life - my first breakup. My four year girlfriend, the love of my life and (looking back retrospectively) a big part of my identity, decided it was time for her to move on. This hurt - tremendously so - but it wasn’t one week later that our company completed its first round of funding. To console myself about my breakup, I promptly went and bought an Audi TT and spent way too much on Armani, Zegna and Canali’s spring fashions - retail therapy at its finest. Thus began a period of years where I would define myself by my belongings, my accomplishments, and a general sense of entitlement.

I would go on to date some wonderful girls, but there were always elements of inadequacy and insecurity in my relationships. I wasn’t terrible at meeting women - in fact, I did fairly well - but whenever I met a girl who I really liked, things began to break down quickly.

Several years into the life of my company, one of my employees turned me on to a book called “Double Your Dating.” Everything therein made sense, and my eyes began to expand to this little community of men who were talking about how to meet and seduce women. The smarminess of it always bothered me (after all, I was raised Catholic), but a morbid curiosity kept me engaged.

Then, upon leaving my business and returning to college, I was introduced to a man who was a thought leader in this dating advice community. He was looking for a business manager and I was looking for a new commercial project to keep me busy while finishing my degree. Eighteen months later, our company was running training programs worldwide, had its own reality show, and had been featured in dozens of major news publications. It was quite an adventure; trips to London, San Francisco, and Austin on the weekends to teach events, then a return to Ann Arbor to hit the history books during the week.

During this time, I had an incredible relationship with one of the best girl’s I’ve ever known, who remains my good friend to this day. I finally began to overcome my association with my belongings, but a more insidious association began to set in - that of a man who is good with women.

Upon moving to New York after graduation in ‘06, I left the dating advice world and started a beverage company. But I began to miss my connection with clients, and the enjoyment I took from helping men improve their social lives. I sold my stake in the beverage company six months after starting it, and have been rocking and rolling again on dating and personal coaching since the summer of ‘07.

My life in New York has been a series of ups and downs. I’ve been to some of the most exclusive social events in the world, dated incredibly beautiful girls you see in magazines, and have shared drinks with business leaders whose books have been on bestseller lists. But I’ve seen how quickly it all comes and goes, as well. And I realized that a man who identifies too closely with, and derives his happiness and strength from his accomplishments, belongings and the women dates is the unhappy subject of the ever-changing nature of his environment.

In the end, all we really have are our values, our abilities, and our energy to give and to the world. We learn that the quality of women in our lives is a direct reflection of the quality of men who we are. And we learn that when we walk into a bar, a party, or down the street, the greatest gift we can share with others is a fun, strong, authentic self.

The Social Man is about elevating the quality of your life, about finding and connecting with your values, about learning new social skills, and not least of all, about bringing amazing new women into your life. The men I’ve been fortunate enough to work with here have all inspired me and are all masters of their own worlds. I may not always agree with them, but I respect what they’ve been able to achieve for themselves, and I hope that they inspire and educate you as well.

And if you ever have any thoughts or questions, I encourage you to get in touch with me directly, by sending email to christian at thesocialman dot com. I do my best to read and respond to every note.

Rock and roll…
Christian