80:20 – little things that matter

June 28, 2009

There are a few things in pickup that are non-negotiable must-haves.  Those things are:

EYE CONTACT
- you should be making eye contact 70% of the time you’re talking to someone
- you should only break eye contact to the side, not downwards
- you should be making direct eye contact anytime you give a compliment

BODY LANGUAGE
- you should be comfortable touching her within 10 seconds of saying hello. not too much… just a slight touch
- you should be rocking in and out on your back foot – generally, you should come in at a 45 degree angle
- you should be smiling

DELIVERY
- your first few sentences should be no more than 10-15   seconds long
- you shouldn’t give explanations or apologies
- you should be speaking to the whole group if it is not a direct compliment

So these are some of the very basic, very important things to do within the first minute of an interaction.  They’re subtle, but getting them wrong is going to betray a lack of confidence and deservedness.

Funny thing is, when I’m not “warmed up,” I sometimes mess these up too.  So my first conversation of the evening has become what I call a “systems check” conversantion.

Geeky?  Sure.  But its just a reminder.

I find a very, very attractive girl, and give her a direct compliment.  My goal is not to pick her up, but to force myself to focus on all these little things so that they’re kind of locked into my head for the evening.

I’d say that 80% of the time you get a bad reaction from a girl, its from messing up these fundamentals, so getting them right at the start gets your night off to a good start.

If you’re going out tonight, do a little system check of your own and see how it works for you.

Posted by Christian | Filed Under Pickup Your Game | Comments 

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Podcast: screening and qualifying

June 6, 2009

Enjoy this talk with Dan and Nick about how and why to screen and qualify.

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Posted by Christian | Filed Under Pickup Your Game | Comments 

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Ask The Social Man: getting the girl who flirts with everyone

June 5, 2009

You know that girl who lets on like she likes you, but who does the same with ten other guys in her life?  Here’s how to make this happen.

Posted by Christian | Filed Under Dating Done Right | Comments 

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Ask The Social Man: girls who won’t accept compliments

June 4, 2009

Matt asks us about a girl who says that she believes that men are insincere. She doesn’t like their compliments, but Matt wants to give her one.

Posted by Christian | Filed Under Women And The World | Comments 

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Ask The Social Man: the girl across the hall

June 3, 2009

For those of us living in apartment buildings with lovely women right across the hall, what’s the best way to get to know them?

Posted by Christian | Filed Under Pickup Your Game | Comments 

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Ask The Social Man: when do you add a girl on facebook?

June 2, 2009

A simple question today: when do you add a girl on facebook?

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Ask The Social Man: different women, different agendas

June 1, 2009

Some women, you want to date. Some women, you want as friends. Others, you want to have fun with. Thoughts on how to proceed with this social strategy.

Posted by Christian | Filed Under Women And The World | Comments 

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